![]() The problem with "with all due respect" is the stinger in the word "due." The unavoidable inference is that the amount of respect that is due, in the speaker's opinion, is zero. There's nothing wrong with stock phrases that allow a speaker to express disagreement while acknowledging that the views of the person spoken to must be taken seriously. Or, the southern US version, bless your heart. ![]() "That being said … " (I will now say the opposite). To me, the negative sense has a connotation of "this is exactly as much respect as you deserve." While acknowledging Philip Taylor's point that it can be used in a positive sense…. Another phrase which I might use in a similar context is "I beg to differ", which for me carries the first connotation without necessarily also carrying the second. I typically use it when I wish to disagree with someone, but at the same time to acknowledge that (a) they have every right to their opinion, and (b) that their qualifications, reputation, eminence, etc., suggest they may well be better informed in the matter than I. I am one who uses "with all due respect" from time to time, but I don't perceive it as being as negative as this article would suggest. I'd also add "no offense, but" to the same category. These are polite-sounding insults similar to "bless his heart." Filed by Victor Mair under Insults, Rhetoric, Style and register." In a good way" (3/31/09) - extensive discussion of "with all due respect" in the comments It might be a good idea to prune away all the harsh, sarcastic invective before posting our remarks. That's pretty strong language, especially for a civil debate on a subject where reasonable people may be expected to have different opinions. Later, the same commenter / critic says, "I would vehemently disagree". With all due respect, this sounds like a crippling way to learn an Asian language (i.e. He ends that section by quoting from Language Log: 99-100), Greg Myers discusses phrases like "with all due respect" under the rubric of "stylistic stance markers", along with "I humbly suggest…", "seriously", "honestly", "frankly", "if I may put it like that", and smileys. It would seem to me that "with all due respect" has been so tarnished by satirical use that it would be better to avoid it altogether. Perhaps because of its changing function from a phrase meant to mitigate hard feelings to a phrase that allows a subtle disrespect, cloaked in courtesy. In 2008, the Oxford dictionary compiled a list of the most irritating phrases in the English language, the phrase with all due respect came in as the fifth most irritating phrase in the English language. One wonders, then, what the point of using this disingenuous phrase is. He then added, "I apologize now for my use of unparliamentary language." "With all due respect and in the most unparliamentary language, f**k you Deputy Stagg, f**k you…". Paul Gogarty, a member of Ireland's Green Party, unloaded some fairly colourful language on Labour Party member Emmet Stagg during a debate using this term. The result, then, is to intensify, rather than to mitigate, their criticism. If someone prefaces a sentence by saying "with all due respect", it's a sign that they are likely to unleash something negative or critical, and sometimes quite vulgar and highly disrespectful.
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